Favorite Mike Tyson Quotes:

Someone sent me a link to a collection of famous Mike Tyson quotes. I just had to share. He may be a pop culture afterhought, but these lines will live forever:

"Lennox Lewis, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!"

Tyson on Tyrell Biggs' complaining to him about low blows "Low blows? Low blows? Huh! Motherf**ker you're fittin' to die!" "He was screaming like my wife." "I could have knocked him out in the third round but I wanted to do it slowly, so he would remember this night for a long time."

"I paid a worker at New York's zoo to re-open it just for me and Robin. When we got to the gorilla cage there was 1 big silverback gorilla there just bullying all the other gorillas. They were so powerful but their eyes were like an innocent infant. I offered the attendant $10,000 to open the cage and let smash that silverback's snotbox! He declined."

"One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like an infantile retard."

"How dare these boxers challenge me with their primitive skills? It makes me angry. They're just as good as dead." "My power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel is muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm."

“I want to throw down your kid and stomp on his testicles, and then you will know what it is like to experience waking up everyday as me. And only then will you feel my pain.”

"All praise is to Allah, I'll fight any man, any animal, if Jesus were here I'd fight him too."

"They don't have the heart that I have. I've lived places they can't defecate in."

"I'm not Mother Teresa. But I'm also not Charles Manson!"

"I'm on the Zoloft to keep from killing y'all."

"He called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse.’ I’m not a recluse.”

"I really dig Hannibal. Hannibal had real guts. He rode elephants into Cartilage."

"I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivia."

"I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."

China Doesn't Screw Around: Exhibit No. 753218865

http://www.guardian.co.uk/china/story/0,,2090884,00.html

"The disgraced head of China's food and drug agency was sentenced to death yesterday amid a wave of consumer safety scandals.Zheng Xiaoyu, 62, was found guilty of accepting 6.5m yuan (£433,000) worth of bribes from pharmaceutical companies to expedite the approval of new drugs.

Underscoring the state's determination to crack down on corruption and consumer safety violations, he is the most senior official to receive the death penalty in seven years.
Beijing fears a collapse of consumer confidence after a series of deadly food and drug scandals, often linked with lax regulation and bribe taking. With more Chinese products filling shelves overseas, several cases have had international repercussions."

Damn. Don't accept bribes in China. Then again, I suppose a good case can be made that Xiaoyu is guilty of multiple counts of involuntary manslaughter, if not second degree murder.

Crying Foul: Yet More A-Rod

Well, apparently A-rod distracted the Blue Jay's third baseman on a two out pop-up yesterday. There are conflicting reports over what he yelled, whether it was "mine" or simply a "hah". In any event, it worked, as the ball dropped and the Yankees ended up winning the game.

To this I can only say the following: "Just win, baby". This routinely happens in football and basketball. I can only imagine that it's considered ungentlemanly in baseball. To that I can only say "pishtosh". I've been wondering for years why catchers don't scream like Tarzan on two strike pitches in important situations.

Of course, be prepared to get tattooed next time up, but so be it.

Spamalot

Saw this in Vega$ a few weeks ago. It's a decent show, don't get me wrong, but if you've seen Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail you've seen eighty percent of the "good parts" of the show. I'm not a big fan of breaking the fourth wall in theatre productions, and Spamalot basically hinges its entire premise upon this contrivance. A wink to the audience here and there is acceptable; having it represent the entire denoument is somewhat distracting.

Of c0urse, such shenanigans do set up the show's most rousing musical number: "You can't succeed on Broadway if you don't have any Jews". As I laughed uproariously I made sure that I gave my goyim friends meaningful glares. Can't let them in on the joke, you see.

Stray-Rod

I am not surprised that A-rod cheats on his wife. I am surprised that was the best looking girl he could find to do it with. Guess he has a type....that being huge "tracts of land" combined with a "girl next door who isn't that hot" face. There's gotta be a pre-nup, right? There's also probably a "I'll live with your two-timing so long as I don't have to read about it in the New York Post"-nup as well.

There are surprisingly few professional athletes who, if discovered cheating, would surprise me. John Stockton....David Eckstein.....Tom Glavine (I don't know why, just seems like a nice guy)...that's about it. The only professional athlete who I just flat-out would not believe was capable of infidelity unless I saw it with my own eyes would be A.C. Green. I don't care if I'm presented with an HD-DVD of his frolicking; I'd assume it's CGI.

Most Incredible Nature Footage of all Time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU8DDYz68kM

Let's put it this way, I've never been afraid to "spoiler" animal videos before. This footage has three acts and is damned near Shakespearean in its twists and turns.

It is, frankly, unbelievable that someone managed to capture it on film.

Enjoy.

Die Yankees, Die!!

Watching the Yankees flounder in last place has been enjoyable beyond belief. I wonder how George Steinbrenner and Brian Cashman feel about having taken every aging veteran, bad contract, and under-performing star off of other team's hands. The Phillies have got to be snickering over Abreu, the Red Sox over Johnny Damon, and Carl Pavano over Carl Pavano.

I see no cure in sight for the Yankees. Nobody wants their crop of broken down warhorses, and they can't cure their problems by trading more prospects for yet more decrepit and overpaid players.

The Yankees should be a lesson to everyone in baseball: If you are over the age of thirty, you are not getting a full value, 4+ year contract from my team. Period.

Illegal Immigration

The U.S. has always had a love/hate affair with immigrants. Lately, mostly hate. It's clear that there is a market for the services provided by illegal immigrants, or else they wouldn't come. On the other hand, simply by looking at the housing, health care, and educational crisis facing Southern California we know that illegal immigration isn't always a positive for communities.

It's clear that on a political level, we have to divide immigration policy from border control policy. Somehow we have allowed these two very distinct entities to become intertwined. It's as though controlling our borders has somehow become synonymous with the implicit or explicit goal of reducing immigration from Latin countries. In the modern era, a nation such as the United States must make every effort to control its borders. Even if we decided to have an open immigration policy, border control would still be essential given the number of "evil-doers" and dangerous substances seeking to make their way north.

I have no idea why politicians seem unable to draw this distinction. Those who depend on Latin voters obviously do not want to, for fear that their supporters (who really just want to see the border controls lax) will desert them, but even "anti-immigration" officials seem fearful of intellectualizing this dichotomy.

It's impossible to have an intelligent discourse about a political problem if we can't agree what the components of that problem are.

Battlestar Galactica

I wasn't the biggest fan of the original series, and I'm late to the game in terms of this "re-imagined" epic, but damn is this a great show. I'm sure a lot of people are turned off by the sci-fi premise, but 80% of the show consists of WWII-style Naval Battles in space. If not for The Shield, I'd say this is the best show on television by a wide margin.

The acting is uniformly excellent, the plotting is dynamic, the dialogue is believable and well-written. As I watch epic battles unfold via the joys of DVD, I can't help but wonder (once again) how the Star Wars prequels managed to be so utterly godawful.

I'm sure I'll talk more about this series in the future, but given that I'm only midway through Season Two, I'll hold off for now.

My Favorite Animal: The Liger

When I tell people this, they mention Napoleon Dynamite. At some point, I'm going to have to go see that movie.

Here's an article (with pictures) of these beasties:

http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/liger.asp

The one I saw in Miami was about 950 pounds, and it played with 300-400 pound tigers and lions as though the other animals were kittens. It was so big, the mind doesn't believe it's real. You don't expect a cat to be larger than bears.

At that same Zoo (wish I could remember the name) they had a 19 1/2 foot crocodile. Basically, I was in huge creature heaven.

DVD v. HD-DVD: Best Comparison I've Seen

http://www.haloapplications.com/hd/hddvd/kingkong/

Wow. Just load this sucker up, then use your mouse to swipe the dividing line around. My response to being forced to view the DVD portion of this graphic: "My eyes, the goggles do nothing!".

I'm a huge proponent of HD-DVD (If Blu-Ray wins out, I'll have to get a Blu-Ray drive...which sucks, but it's not as though my comparatively cheap HD-DVD player and movies will suddenly cease to exist). It's getting harder and harder to deal with DVD quality, and an upscaling player can only do so much.

Gas Prices

Aren't high enough, apparently. When it takes me nearly an hour to drive the ten miles from Irvine to Newport Beach, then I have no chance in hell of finding a parking spot, we clearly need more pain at the pump.

We're probably the only first world nation that doesn't tax gas heavily, and it shows. In the last seventy to eighty years we've managed to increase mpg efficiency by what...200%? That's preposterous. If any other industry demonstrated such a poor rate of improvement it would have gone out of business by now. What if computers were only three times as fast now as they were in the 80's? Think we'd still have a computer industry?

At five dollars a gallon, we might actually see a change in the way in which automaker's build autos and the manner in which people drive. Bring it on.

The NBA Playoffs: Still Godawful

We still have yet another round of playoffs to go. Ugh.

Remember when I said go get Casey Blake, then apologized when he "lost" his job to Andy Marte? Well, Marte was sent to the minors, and Blake is lighting it up. My apology=retracted.

I missed out on my waiver claim for Ryan Braun this weekend, so I consoled myself by picking up Alex Gordon. I'm wondering how many people in Yahoo leagues accidentally added Ryan Z. Braun, the scrub middle reliever. More than a few, I'd wager.

Pirates of Yet Another Disappointing Trilogy Finale

Very uneven effort. "There be spoilers below, argh".

I greatly enjoyed PoTC and Dead Man's Chest, but in so many ways this movie let me down. A big part of it was the godawful CGI direction. Was it necessary to have Sparrow flip through the air quite so maniacally? If you're going to spend that much money on a maelstrom, how about showing some of the other battles? I rewatched Dead Man's Chest (a movie that grows with every viewing, oddly enough) to refresh my recollection, and I wonder why I bothered. The Kraken was killed off....for no reason, the voodoo enchantress suddenly becomes a god (??), and Jack is now a pirate lord?

One of the neat things about Dead Man's Chest is that the compass, which was unexplained in PoTC, is integrated into the sequel's storyline. If you don't allude to major plot advances in prior movies they are going to seem like random contrivances, and the audience is going to feel disconnected and confused. For example, why is Calypso telling the story of Davy Jones with such offhanded glee in DMC when her tone should be one of sadness and regret? Why the hell are the Pirate Lords not mentioned in prior movies, and how did Jack become a Lord when he received the Black Pearl after making a deal with Jones?

This movie was just a complete mess. At times a very enjoyable mess, but the flotsam and jetsam overwhelms all concerned. I question the decision to have a two hour, forty five minute running time. Plus, since you have to wait through the endless credits for a scene of the surprisingy spry Keira Knightly waiting for Will's return, it bloats to more like three hours with previews.

**I hated Keira Knightley's speech. Why is it apparently so hard to pen a rousing cry to battle?

***The one rational character in the series decides to have the Chest guarded by two morons on a ship filled with immortal savages? Por que?

Sony sued.....again....for Infringing on Patents

http://www.gamesindustry.biz/content_page.php?aid=25310

Wow. I won't cite the entire lengthy article, but basically the company is saying that Sony's use of a specific silver alloy to coat the Blu-Ray Disks (I believe they used to use gold or aluminum) infringes on their patent...which had finally been granted in March of 2006.This is the Immersion lawsuit all over again, except Sony can't just change or modify existing Blu-Ray drives as they did with rumble. My prediction: Sony will fight a request for an injunction preventing further manufacturing, win but have to post a massive bond, fight the underlying lawsuit for years, lose, appeal and watch the judgment accumulate interest, then pay a massive amount to settle the lawsuit.If this case is a slam dunk, and TTC actually manages to shut down Blu-Ray disk production or force a manufacturing switch to another alloy...which may or may not be possible, I'm really not sure what Sony can do other than pay them whatever they want. From the company website:

"Target Technology Company LLC offers proprietary silver alloy sputtering targets for the semi reflective (Layer 0) of DVD-9. Many DVD replication companies worldwide are using our innovative target material to replace gold or silicon as the semi-reflective layer in the production of DVD-9. Our customers have been producing DVD-9 discs using our silver alloy technology for over six year with very favorable results. The disc quality is consistently better than conventional DVD-9 with gold and aluminum layers and yet the cost is substantially lower. "

Trades

Two trades were recently pulled off in my "most important" cash league (i.e., the one that actually gives me bragging rights over my friends).

Michael Cuddyer and Scott Kazmir for Jeff Francoeuaiyr (I'm never sure which vowels he doesn't string together, so let's be safe) and Boof Bonser. I had targetted both Cuddyer and Kazmir pre-draft, so I tend to think this is a steal for that owner. Of course, on paper Francouer is the best player, and Bonser (when he doesn't walk someone every inning) has a high upside, so it could be that I'm off base here. Time will tell, but I see Cuddyer and the Twins offense rising while Francouer sinks.

I recently traded Andruw Jones and Curtis Granderson for Mike Piazza (who may or not replace Jason Varitek on my squad) and Travis Hafner. Now, I will be getting Pronk just in time for interleague play, which isn't fun, but I'm hoping that he'll be playing some first base and gaining 1B eligibility. I am demolishing the league in RBIs, so I can take a short term hit in the hopes of picking up a point or two in batting average. Plus, I want to play Delmon Young (I know he'll be good, eventually!) and Granderson is in the way.

I tried to trade Granderson straight up for about three different players before the season started: Josh Willingham and BJ Upton, for example. He's been a pleasant surprise, but I don't think he'll continue his current pace. Plus, now I don't have to remember that I almost took Peavy instead of Andruw Jones every time Andruw puts up a platinum sombrero.

Jack Bauer needs a Vacation

And new writers.

Finally got around to watching 24 last night. It's a measure of how far this television show has fallen that I was able to use the restroom, dig around for soda, and cook myself some pasta with homemade meat sauce without caring if I missed snippets of dialogue here or there. I miss Tony and Michelle. Killing off those characters was criminally irresponsible. For Tony to get taken out by Robocop in such an anticlimactic fashion, and then to not get a silent clock, put 24 on probation before season six even started.

In hindsight, the decision to regurgitate, ad nauseum, the exact same plotlines of prior seasons and have the show take place in CTU LA, again, was disastrous. Everyone wanted the China plotline to be resolved: why'd we have to sit through sixteen hours of yet another unnamed terrrorist group having a nuclear weapon on U.S. soil? This season was just pure, unadulterated, crap. Bad writing, bad acting (the President's cabinet was woeful, and Powers Boothe was over the top evil for his first ten appearances), and bad execution. I understand that given the situation in the Middle East, the producers are reluctant to name the countries involved in 24's plotlines. But, at this point, it's getting ridiculous. Having presidential advisors refer to "the target country", or "Akhmed's country of origin" instead of using the proper name is headache inducing.

Has 24 lost its steam? That actually happened back in season three, but the season four renaissance regained my interest and dragged me into the abysmally stupid season five and the soul crushingly awful season six.

My "WWJBD" bracelet lies cold and forgotten in my closet.

Indiana Jones Four

Quite excited to see this movie on the horizon. I know many folks feel that a twenty year hiatus between movies is too much, but to that I can only say "pishtosh!" Harrison Ford can still a play an early to mid fifties Indy, and with the proper script that's fine for me.

Word has come down that Shia Labouef (teenage sidekick in Constantine) will play Indy's son, with Karen Allen as the mother. Ms. Allen has certainly aged well, by the way.

Rumor has it that the movie will either revolve around the Staff of Moses (or, that might just be the plot of the video game) or crystal skulls and ancient astronauts. I'm hoping for the first. The Staff of Moses would be a perfect counterpoint to the prior biblical relics. We shall just have to see.

Filming starts in June.

Parents of Dead MLB Player Sue Those "Responsible" for his Death

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2881602

Josh Hancock was a middle reliever for the Cardinals. About a month ago, he achieved the quadrifecta of moronic driving:

1)Blood alcohol twice the legal limit (about .16);
2)On a cell phone at time of accident;
3)Speeding at time of accident;
4)Not wearing a seatbelt.

He was killed when he drove at full speed into the back of a towtruck that was moving a disabled car. All signs point to his never seeing the vehicle. His death has resulted in numerous clubs banning alcohol from the clubhouses.

He is now suing the tow truck driver, the driver of the stalled car, the bar that served him drinks for 3.5 hours, and the tow truck company. Clearly there's some comparative liability here, but I'd say that the tow truck driver (for not putting out flares), and the bar need to worry about liability.

How to Ruin an Industry: Make it Impossible to Fire the Workers

There are few things we can count on in life. If we let something go, it will fall to whatever hard surface lies beneath it. You will never understand women if you aren't one. And if you are unable to fire the workers in a given field, you will have terrible workers.

I think unions were appropriate for much of the twentieth century, but I'm starting to wonder if the broad scope of rights and powers granted them under seventy to eight year old laws have become anachronisms. The Federal Government, which shamefully once ignored workers' rights and struck down laws benefitting workers under the "right to contract" Constitutional umbrella, has stepped in and assumed what used to be the union's role of securing minimum working standards. Are these standards great? Not really, but that doesn't mean unions should still be granted rights that essentially amount to a perpetual and impenetrable fiefdom.

The most important dynamic a union creates is this: You can't fire us. Not if we go on strike, not if we're lazy or unproductive, nor for a host of other reasons that you see in non-unionized industries. You must negotiate with us in "good faith" or we will hold a gun to your head. What does an employer get out of this? Well, if it's a sensitive industry (like, say, air traffic controllers) oftentimes the federal government mandates that the workers not go on strike. Which they often do anyway.

Unions rob industries of the flexibility needed to adapt. Look at the auto industry. If we don't see the big three, or at least two of them, declare bankruptcy in our lifetimes I will be shocked. Or, most frighteningly, look at the California teachers and prison guard unions. These blocs have grown so huge that the Governator couldn't even make a dent in their political power with a special election process. Shockingly, the pensions and benefits promised to these workers can never be changed or removed (thanks to California Supreme Court decisions....by justices whose benefits are guaranteed under similar plans). When you can't fire bad teachers, you end up with a lot more bad teachers. Even worse, because merit is not rewarded, those with ambition decide to do something else.

I'm not sure if there is an easy answer for this problem...other than, of course, eliminating uniosn or reducing their political clout. Easier said then done. Of course, I think we saw with the grocery workers strike here in California that public sympathy is no longer with the unions.

There are Three Kinds of People in this World

Those with guns, those who dig, and those who own Oliver Perez.

If you have owned Oliver Perez since 2004 in a keeper league, and he has been continuously on your roster until the present day (and you can prove it), post about it here and I will send you five bucks. Maybe.

What a roller coaster ride it's been. Perez screwed me in 2005 and 2006 in various leagues, and after a wonderful eight walks in two innings in his second start this year, looked poised to do it once again. Now, he's the ace of the Mets staff and easily the most consistent starter on my team.

What happened, you ask? I think it's quite clear: Oliver stopped stealing JoBu's rum. And, as we all know, it is very, very bad to steal JoBu's rum.

What Once was Lost, Now is ... Better

I was convinced Lost "jumped the shark" about halfway through season two. The folks from the tail end of the plane were being busted for DUIs in real life and simultaneously written off the show, or ignored, willy nilly, the mysteries were coming at us fast and incoherently, and the central questions of the first season were largely ignored. Despite the purple sky explosion, I had lost interest by the fourth or fifth episode of season three. The drama and mystery of the show were gone, seemingly forever.

Lost has recaptured its magic. With the the new mysteries of Jacob, the explanation of what happened to the Dharma initiative and what the "hostiles" have been up to since the Oceanic survivors landed on the island, and Locke's evolution, we're seeing a renaissance in Lost that is fairly unprecedented.

I can't recall the last time a show has so stupendously recaptured its lost magic, if ever. Alias tried with a season four reboot of the Sydney v. Sloane dynamic: it failed. Moonlighting tried to re-separate Maddy and David: it failed spectactularly. Typically, once a show loses that indefinable...something...it's gone forever.

The Lost finale was brilliant, and made me weep for what could have been with Heroes and Veronica Mars (which had a great finale, but one that essentially erased the events of season three and made us pine for a season four that will never arrive). A "future flash"? Didn't see that coming, especially when oxycodone-d Jack begins telling the other doctors to bring his father down. The coffin mystery had me screaming "What's in the box!!" at the screen. I'm guessing it's Locke or Sawyer.

I'm still not sure what the show's all about, and I'm hesitant to guess; I'll just wait for the big reveals in the coming seasons. And, once again, I actually care about that happening.

Most Annoying Fantasy Players (when not on your team)

These guys make me see red when I see them on other folks's rosters. Typically they could have been had for a late round draft pick or as a free agent:

1)Shane Victorino; no one saw this coming. How annoying is it to watch him creep towards 40-60 steals, when he was available as a free agent in most leagues well into the second or third week?

2)JJ Hardy. Huge candidate for roids/HGH abuse. When a middle infielder comes out of nowhere to lead the NL in homeruns, and he was available for free, it chaps one's hide.

3)Kevin Youkilis. He of the vaunted low .270s average and below 20 homeruns last year. I guess we should have seen this coming.

4)Al Reyes. Many folks ignored Al Reyes when scrounging for saves. Bad move.

5)Joakim Soria. See Reyes, Al; above.

Freakonomics

I cannot recommend this book highly enough. Mark Twain once said that there are lies, damned lies, and statistics: While I love Mr. Clemens, I have to respectfully disagree. Statistics, with a large enough sample size, tend to be the most "truthful" source of information we have.

By far the two most controversial claims this book makes are as follows:

1)The dropping crime rate is directly linked to Roe v. Wade and the availability of abortion. I.e., the unwanted children of irresponsible adults are the ones who are most likely going to be career criminals. It's obvious why this one didn't go over very well. Any argument that can be used to support eugenics touches upon the ultimate taboo in our society.

2)Parents have much less input in how their children turn out than we previously thought. What matters is what parents are like, rather than what they do. Intelligent, responsible, caring parents tend to have children who are like them; "mommy and me" groups and home activities are generally worthless. This actually meshes with my belief that our school systems are excellent at identifying intelligent people, but very poor at creating them; mostly for the simple reason that it is generally impossible to raise a person's underlying intelligence.

Most Hysterical Pick-up Line in Movie History

While it somewhat gives away the tone and content of The Line to offer the following warning, I fear that I must in this case: the following clip is definitely "Not Safe For Work".

http://youtube.com/watch?v=w1XOfHax6Q8

Apparently this was an ad-lib on the part of the actor, who only wanted to loosen his co-star up. The director left it in the final cut. On another note, this actor is openly gay (not that there is anything wrong with that).

Dying Boy's Last Wish: To be the Envy of Nerds Everywhere

http://www.ocregister.com/ocregister/money/article_1702706.php?referrer=digg

Thanks to the Make a Wish foundation, Ezra Chatterton was able to create a new World of Warcraft character, customize it (he specifically wanted a wickedly curving crossbow that shoots flames causing 300 points of damage for ten seconds......), visit Blizzard, and supervised the creation of the graphics and audio. His dog Kyle was added to the game.

I'm happy that this kid, dying of brain cancer, was able to fulfill his wish, but on the scale of wish-quality he was clearly rolling a mere d8, rather than a d20.

I find it humorous that his mother won't allow him to play the game, but his father allowed him to spend all day with Blizzard, then sit in front of the computer for an additional five hours playing WoW before Ezra collapsed (of exhaustion). What kind of mother won't let her dying child escape reality to a delightful fantasy world? Piss poor, Mrs. Chatterton. Piss poor, indeed.

Worst Tattoo Ever?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/40865443@N00/499142480/

Who wouldn't want to have their recently deceased spouse immortalized on their arm? As a flesh eating zombie?

I can't decide what's worse, the disastrous decision to color in every tooth (with black ink), or the rancid pink/bloody lettering.

Worst (Best?) On-Sceen Deaths

http://www.filmwad.com/featured-dead-meat-the-best-worst-death-scenes--2400-p.html

This list is about as hit or miss as it gets. Quint being eaten by The Shark is way up there, but the curb stomp in American History X is rated number one? Really? Out of all the movies ever made?

I would think such a list must require that the movie not completely suck (I'm looking at you, Last Samurai, Lucky Number Slevin, and Man on Fire).

Here's some I would have, in no particular order (spoilers):

1)Death on the surface of Mars (Total Recall). Utterly gruesome. Gave me nightmares.
2)Every. Freaking. Person. in Predator. Too many to count. "Knock, knock *blam*". The enormous friggin' hole in Shane Black's chest. Pure awesomeness.
3)Leonardo DiCaprio in The Departed. Also my favorite. I want to get a tattoo of Leo's exploding noggin'.
4)Sonny Corleone: The Godfather.
5)Alec Guiness: Bridge Over the River Kwai.
6)Randy Quaid: Independence Day (tears me up every time...*sniff*)
7)Bruce Willis, Armageddon (DON'T JUDGE ME!).

And, the number one death scene of all time, the movie that every father shows his son just to make him cry, the movie that scars all who see it for life: the death of Old Yeller.

**My thanks to Michigan native Death Surge for pointing out that Dennis Quaid and Randy Quaid are not, in fact, the same person.

Not so Heroic (spoilers below)

I watched the season finale of Heroes last night. I was disappointed. Very disappointed. The show managed to regress back to the writing levels of the pilot (which was also awful) after grudingly improving throughout the season.

Why can't Peter fly himself to the stratosphere? Why doesn't the gigantic nuclear/EMP pulse knock out all of the lights in the city? Won't the radioactive fallout kill millions on its own? Why will no one ever make sure that Sylar is dead! We've been waiting for a climactic battle all year, and what we got was Flying Petrelli Brother No. 2 punching Sylar repeatedly in the head. Use your powers buddy! What, did they blow their budget on the "five years ahead" episode?

The only saving grace for the episode was little Miss MacGuffin's exclamation that there is a "far worse" mutant than Sylar out in the ether. Good to hear. I'm convinced that half of the writing/plotting problems with this show stem from the creation of characters who are simply too powerful. Sylar is at the borderline of acceptably strong characters: Peter, Hiro, the Haitian, and "suggestion girl" all have powers that are difficult to coherently plot because they offer easy shortcuts to any problem.

Apparently Mr. Sprague (aka, Radioactive Man) is not the Geico Caveman. He was quite clear about this during a recent interview. This makes the choice of hair and beard for his character even more strange, considering that his caveman-esque appearance has become a running joke across the internet. Even more startling, Radioactive Man is married (in real life) to Mr. Noah Bennett's wife on heroes. She was born in 1960. He was born in 1973.

Parting Shots

It is inevitable. As sure as the turning of the earth. If you cut a fantasy baseball pitcher and allow him to remain on your roster for that last day (for example, Yahoo processes the transaction the next day) he will implode.

Jon Rauch did it to me yesterday. He wasn't the first. Jorge Julio, Jason Frasor, and Randy Wolf have already taken parting shots at my ERA this year. I'm fairly certain that professional baseball players monitor the "most dropped" transactions features on fantasy sites and adjust their play accordingly.

There is nothing quite like being half a run in ERA behind your next closest competitor....in a 5x5 rotisserie cash league....when the best starter you drafted (by a wide margin) is A.J. Burnett.

Sorry for the Casey Blake recommendation earlier. Even though he homered yesterday, he apparently is going to platoon. Why, I don't know. I was trolling for someone to replace Blake, when I realized just how "en fuego" Carlos Pena has been. The Pena era has begun!

Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Clinton Portis

"On the topic of Vick facing possible charges for dog fighting, Portis opened with, "I think people should mind their business, you know. I don't know if he was fighting dogs or not, but it's his property, his dog, if that's what he wants to do, do it."

In watching the video of the interview, I'm as startled as the interviewer (who really went out of his way to inform Portis and allow him to backtrack) by Portis's callous disregard for animal cruelty. I wonder how Portis would feel if we substituted the term "pit bull" for "slave during the 1850s". Sure, dogs aren't people (obviously), but neither were Africans considered "people" during the early 1800s. One would hope that in these more enlightened times, a barbaric, inhumane activity such as dog fighting would not only be shunned, but that those few who did enjoy a bit of canine carnage would be embarrassed to proclaim their fandom in public.

Well, at least Portis is being honest. If we saw more honesty from professional athletes, it might actually be possible for us to hold a lower opinion of them.

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/6836960?MSNHPHMA

Detroit now .0067% Safer!!

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070519/NEWS01/705190372

"A robbery and crime spree aided by an unloaded gun came to a halt late Thursday when the gunman met more than his match: a gun with bullets. Charles Parker Jr., 18, of Detroit was killed when a 53-year-old man pulled out a 9mm handgun and shot the teen, who was armed with an unloaded .22-caliber handgun. Detroit police are calling it self-defense. After the shooting, police questioned the 53-year-old man and released him, noting that he had a valid concealed weapons permit. Then they gave him back his gun."

Apparently this youth had committed three other robberies within hours of this one, using the same unloaded gun trick. Basically, he played Russian Roulette and eventually lost. While I tend to think that the mass arming of civilians will cause more problems than it solves, it's obvious that some folks use their concealed carry permit responsibly and effectively.

In the wake of the Virginia Tech massacre, I predict the battle between NRA types and the anti-gun lobby will be reaching a fever pitch in the coming months.

When Good Draft Picks go Bad

Sometimes, you'll target a player. As his name slips closer to you during round "X", just as you hoped, you fervently pray that he makes it just a few more spots. Then, when he does, you snag him. "All is proceeding exactly as I have foreseen", you pronounce ominously whilst laughing heartily into the beer you've been chugging since eight in the morning.

What happens when that player turns out to be Carlos Zambrano? How about Richie Sexson? It's one thing when a player gets hurt (B.J. Ryan, Chris Carpenter). You slap them on the D.L. or cut them, take your medicine, and move on. When a top-flight draft picks just flat out sucks, it presents a whole different problem. A buddy of mine discussed with me the possibility of cutting Carlos Zambrano. I essentially told him that would take balls of stone to cut Carlos Zambrano. I know somebody would immediately snag Zambrano off waivers, but it wouldn't be me. My pitching staff is atrocious enough as it is, and I see no indications that Carlos is going to snap out of his funk anytime soon. Roster spots in most leagues are too precious to take a flyer on a guy that's probably injured, but is in a contract year.

If you have more than one, maybe two, Zambrano or Richie Sexson type situations after a draft you are in for a long season. Having your (supposedly) second best hitter put up Neifi Perez type numbers not only fires a broadside at your league standing, it keeps you from picking up Shane Victorino, Kevin Youkilis, Carlos Pena, Jack Cust, or one of a dozen or so free agent stars. All in all, I'd rather a guy's arm rip free from his shoulder and fly into the dugout than have him soldier on and implode every week. It may hurt more, but it's over faster.

Cicada Frenzy

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18780937/?GT1=9951

Nothing quite like a red eyed, swarming insect that emerges once every seventeen years to breed and die. Actually, comes to think of it, that sounds a lot like several students I knew back in my undergrad years.

BradyFan83

One of the funniest guys out there in the fetid swamp that is Youtube.

http://youtube.com/results?search_query=BradyFan83

My favorites: It's a bit.....fey.....but the Brady song is probably the best. I'm not a big Favre fan (thanks to John Madden's endless fellating of all things Brett) so I got a chuckle out of that one too.

The most clever lyrics, however, belong to the Houshmanzadeh ballad. As I clicked on it, I couldn't help but wonder "how the @#$@ is he going to find a song that fits T.J.'s ridiculous moniker?" Well, my friends, link and learn.

The Day the Gods Smiled on Ron Necciai

There are some feats in sports that seem impossible. In fact, if you told others about them, they probably wouldn't believe you. Johnny Van Der Meer pitching back to back no-hitters (try breaking that one). Or how about Mike Crean at Green Valley Ranch golf club in Denver (02),Shawn Lynch at Teign Valley ( 95), or Larry Brice at Hope CC in Arkansas (62) nailing holes in one on a par five.

But, someone mentioned today a baseball possibility that couldn't possibily have happened, so I looked it up. And, lo and behold; it had happened. Once.

On May 13th, 1952, in Bristol Vermont, nineteen year old righty Ron Necciai pitched a no-hitter and struck out 27 hitters in a Class D game between the Appalachian League Bristol Twins and the Welsh Miners. Huzzah!

Four of the Welsh batters did reach base on a walk, an error, a hit batsman and a passed ball on a swinging third strike. But 27 outs were recorded via strikeout.

Apparently, the two previous games he struck out 20 and 19, and had a 24-strikeout two hitter. It's a shame he blew out his arm and basically did nothing in the major leagues.

Still, it boggles the mind.

Source: http://www.blueridgecountry.com/necciai/

Speaking of Booty!

No, not that booty.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18736741/?GT1=9951

Try approximately five hundred million in discovered gold coins. I've found the story of the Atocha (lost Spanish galleon...the recovery ended up killing the discover's son....but resulted in hundreds of millions of dollars) and the Central America (sunken steamer that had been carrying gold and miners from the West Coast to the East Coast) to be fascinating.

I'm sure that we will see a flurry of lawsuits over this in the coming weeks. Interestingly enough, the insurance companies who issued policies for the Central America sued to recover their gold. They lost. Why? Because they threw out their records, thereby abandoning their subrogation rights. I think they eventually settled for something like three percent of the recovered treasure.

Julianne Hough

To my great embarassment, I have been known to watch Dancing with the Stars....on occasion....and only for the sheer joy of ballroom dancing; by great Odin I swear this to be so!!!

The shame is overwhelming.

I much say, however, that even through the graininess of this Youtube video it is quite clear that Julianne Hough is going to be a star.

Cha Cha: http://youtube.com/watch?v=wSXj95yNNTM
I can never hear "Push It" by Salt N' Peppa again without thinking of this dance.

Rumba: http://youtube.com/watch?v=pOYKl9plvBc&mode=related&search=

Umm...Apollo Ono has immense willpower.

Amazingly, her homepage sucks, so I won't bother linking it.

Grizzly v. Moose

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ElvHcaXKEgI

Doesn't require much explanation. There are three clips to peruse, if you are so inclined.

Several Common Misconceptions about the Law

A. He is "Innocent until proven guilty".
No, actually his guilt or innocence is a matter of empiric fact. The Jury's verdict does not change the underlying truth of whether or not someone has committed a crime. Rather, the law requires that we presume an individual's innocence until he is proven guilty. This is merely an imposed legal fiction.

B. Our right to "free speech" means that companies/employers cannot muzzle us.
Wrong. The amendments, by and large, apply to the government. If you contract with your employer to keep your mouth shut on topic "A", you're breaching the contract if you talk about it.

C. The phrase "In God we Trust" signifies that the founders intended for the U.S. to be a "god-fearing" nation.
That phrase was added early in the 20th century, the founding fathers had nothing to do with it. Check it out.

I'm hoping for this to be a regular feature, as more of these little nuggest flash across my gray matter.

Of Mice and Middling Starters

This year, more than any other in recent memory, starting pitching has been a crapshoot. For every Santana, Peavy, Oswalt, or Webb there's been a Halladay (could that guy have worse luck?), Carpenter, or Felix Hernandez.

I've managed to fashion a staff out of the likes of Oliver Perez, Dave Bush (ugh), Randy Wolf, and A.J. Burnett. The results have not been pretty. Still, I'm hoping to be competitive going forward, and I only spent one draft pick above round ten to get any of my SPs. Two of them came off the waiver wire. I pity the poor soul in my league who drafted Carpenter and BJ Ryan. He also was saddled with Bonderman and Beckett, leaving him with approximately half the pitchers he selected on the waiver wire or DL.

What's the moral of all this? The days of sure-fire pitching selections is over, if there ever was one to begin with. It's become a crapshoot out there, and unless the pitcher's name is Johan Santana (and he's never sniffed the stats put up by the likes of Pedro Martinez or Randy Johnson) I see no reason to risk a top draft pick on a pitcher.

New Immigration Bill

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070517/...ation_congress

Well, I'm not going to reiterate the entire article here, but there are some startling shifts in policy outlined in the proposed bill.

Most fundamentally (even more so than sealing borders, granting temporary work visas, or allowing for limited amnesty and/or green cards) the bill shifts the focus away from familial relations and towards employment skills as the criteria for immigration.

Considering that we are (If I recall correctly) the only industrialized nation in the world that bases immigration decisions largely on who you are related to, this is a long overdue change. A country is defined by its voters and citizen pool, and we want the best and the brightest favored above all else.

**on an interesting side note, most folks assume that individuals born in the United States are citizens automatically. The issue has never been decided by the Supreme Court. Instead, it is simply a federal administrative decision. Yes, the Constitution sounds clear, but other equally "clear" provisions have been construed in rather strange fashions before.

The NBA is Unwatchable

And has been for a number of years now.

I was a huge NBA fan back in the 80's and early 90's. I used to dread baseball season because it would cut into the NBA highlights on ESPN. Well, not anymore. I can't remember the last time I watched an NBA game. In what other sport can intentionally fouling people help you win? Where else do players give anything close to maximum effort only in the last five or ten minutes? Why in god's name do we have to sit through an 82 game regular season so that basically every team can make the play-offs, and then be subjected to seven game series after seven game series for what feels like three months? This is a disaster. You would have to pay me a substantial sum of money to induce me to attend an entire NBA game, regardless of the match-up.

I posit the NBA changes to three factors:

1)Guaranteed money to the players has resulted in lazy, undisciplined play....particularly during the regular season.
2)The players are unlikable. The NBA certainly doesn't have a monopoly on this problem, but considering that David Stern's league is personality driven (in the NFL they wear helmets) it does far more damage.
3)The quality of the product has deterioriated. This is due to several factors. Players skipipng college, and ESPN's enamoration with dunks, have killed mid-range shooting as a skill. Illegal defense calls (yes, it has been adapted, but any rules that prohibit you from playing any defense you want are asinine) encourage one on one play and make it far easier to force defensive players to rotate, resulting in more open look threes with less ball movement. The season is too long, leading to tired, unmotivated play.

In addition to the above problems, the embarassments at the Olympics have demonstrated that there is more to basketball than sheer athleticism. Freed from Defensive three second in the key calls, foreign players dared the NBA to shoot from 15-20 feet....and our players failed miserably. Ball movement and fundamentals became more important than a thirty-five inch vertical. Watching Argentina play was a thing of beauty. Watching the Detroit Pistons versus the Chicago Bills is an exercise in patience. American audiences noticed.

I think problems 1 and 2, above, are unfixable without drastic changes in the collective bargaining agreement. Very, very few people will play as hard when their contract is guaranteed. Those who give 100% effort anyway become champions. Those that won't, become the typical NBA player (at least until his contract year). Get rid of guaranteed contracts. Make it retroactive if possible. The only guaranteed money should be the signing bonus. You will see better behavior and better effort almost immediately. As for the third problem, above, start with better officiating, scrap the illegal defense rule, and hope that forcing players to attend at least one year of college will improve their fundamentals.

I'd place the NBA fifth right now on my list of U.S. sports in terms of popularity: NFL, College Football, MLB, Nascar/Auto-racing. And, it's a distant fifth. Ask any male 18-35 if they'd rather watch an MMA match or a regular season NBA game, I guarantee it is 90%+ in favor of MMA.

RIP: Veronica Mars

I'd like to say I'm sad to see it end, but the third season has been so uneven I think this may be a blessing. The complete and steady demolition of Logan's character has been emblematic of this show's floundering direction since mid Season Two. Completely ignoring Weevil, who should have been wrestling with his cold-blooded murder of a co-gang member, was clearly a creative misfire (yes, I realize that Mr. Capra had apparently eaten raw lard for months before filming season three, but still).

I'll rank the first season of Veronica Mars amongst the best in television in the last decade or so. Unfortunately, what made the show so fresh (high schoolers dealings with adult issues) also gave it a short shelf life. Once the show's central mystery was resolved, it apparently became more and difficult to keep embroiling Veronica in implausible crime waves. The "scooby gang" dynamic may have worked for Buffy, but in a supposedly "real" world it became just a tad bit absurd.

Worst. Attorney. Screw-up. Ever.

A month ago an unusual situation occurred. An attorney I was dealing with somehow (the byzantine explanation he gave me is too long to fit on this blog) sent me a signed and served arbitration brief. He admitted signing and serving it. The problem: it basically was a modified version of a letter he sent his client.

To say this brief was shocking would be woefully inadequate. Forgetting for a minute the curse words and personal attacks against my clients (and to a lesser extent, myself....although to be fair I was very hostile towards him and deserved that critique...), it contained the following:

1)A detailed plan for hiding discoverable documents and avoiding disclosing facts they were under a duty to disclose. I.e., don't send letter XXXX.
2)A detailed evaluation of the case including an ADMISSION of fault on the part of his client;
3)A detailed settlement proposal;
4)Numerous witnesses that were not disclosed during discovery.

He basically killed his client. I am now seeking sanctions and moving to have discovery reopened. Most amazing of all, the attorney tried to lie his way out of the situation by claiming that the arbitration contained an attorney client communication (for example, a letter), when it did not. He was just stupid enough to sign a document containing his work product.

The case will probably settle, but as far as I can tell something like this has never been recorded in the California Courts. If this was a large case (which it isn't), he would have been fired already.

I'm tempted to link to his myspace page, as it contains hilarious poetry ("I feel like a small child wandering the beach, looking for my mother's hand"...I kid you not, but for professional reasons must refrain from the temptation).

Call me: Ishmael, Esq.

So, I'm an attorney. A decent one, in fact, if I do say so myself.

I've seen some ugly cases, from both sides. Mortuaries mishandling remains comes to mind. Bed-ridden, hospitalized, semi-comatose mothers mysteriously gathering the energy to mark an "X" on legal documents a few days before they pass. What do these "X"es accomplish, you ask? They disinherit all of her children except for the one who happened to be at the hospital the last few days. A three year old drowning in a pool was also a tough one.

Then there are the run of the mill accidents that result in deaths, paralysis, dismemberments, etc.

You've got to have a thick skin to do litigation work.

Kiko Calero

His, name, is Kiko, Kiko Calero...
He is a pitcher,
no way a belly itcher....

(sung to the tune of Copacabana)

I'm sorry.

Kiko, I seemingly have you every year. Every year you put up great numbers, except for the week or so in which you are on my roster. Now you've struck again! I pick you up to replace Huston Street as closer (figuring that Justin Duchwhatever has an eighty year old's hip), and what do you do? You blow a one out save in the top of the ninth to the Goddamned seven, eight, and nine hitters for the Kansas City Royals!

KHAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!

The Shield

Best show on television. No other show in history has so relentlessly and mercillessly put its main characters through the ringer. As a result, we have a solid cast of dynamic characters who have been evolving for six seasons.

If you haven't watched it, check it out. I recommend starting with Season One, as it isn't a show you can just jump in.


**In other news, King of Queens is going off the air. I like Kevin James's stand-up, but I can do without ever seeing the "smart, pretty girl married to "fat" moron" sitcom dynamic ever again.

Spider-Man 3

Not since Matrix Revolutions have I been so disappointed in a film series' finale.

Just a few of the plot problems I noted:

1)Too. Many. Coincidences. The Meteor strikes right next to Peter? Venom and Flint Marko happen to cross paths in an alley?
2)Crucial plot points should not be revealed by omniscient butlers.
3)Selective amnesia is dumb. Always has been.
4)Could we see more people crying in this movie?
5)Apparently having your soul corrupted by the desire for revenge and power manifests itself with Emo haircuts and song and dance numbers. Good to know.
6)"Spider-Man, I killed the man you considered your father, helped suspend the woman you love fifty stories above cold, hard pavement, menaced the city and injured/killed dozens of people, and have generally been one of the worst human beings of all time. But, I feel bad now. Please forgive me." That is terrible, terrible writing. But, worst of all, Spider-Man sheds a tear and DOES FORGIVE HIM!
7)What the hell happened with the GIANT OUT OF CONTROL CRANE!!! Maybe it's waiting in an alley for Venom to stumble across it and ask to team up.
8)Okay Parker, good job getting the Venom suit off you. Now, you think you might want to find out where the incredibly dangerous alien symbiote has dripped off to? No? Okay. By the way, either Curt Connors has an incredible poker face or the writers forgot to instruct him to act surprised when he discovers an extraterrestrial organism that can alter human emotions.

The deviations from the comic books, which range from harmless to galling, are small potatoes compared to the steaming heap of crap this script asked us to swallow whole.

XBox 360

If you have the means I highly recommend picking one up.

I could go into how it has twice as much dedicated Video RAM as the PS3, superior software exclusives, is at a far better price-point, and offers a fairly cheap HD-DVD drive (where the *bleep* is the Matrix Trilogy HD-DVD set?), but that isn't the big selling point.

Xbox Live and XBox Live Arcade have come of age. With Double Dragon, TMNT: the Arcade Game, and fantastic on-going group matches of Rainbow Six Vegas and Gears of War, I don't see Sony competing from a software angle anytime soon.

The underpowered novelty system offered by Nintendo (the Wii, in case you thought I meant the DS) doesn't even want to compete on-line. Sixteen digit codes for every friend? You've got to be kidding me. Nintendo lost me when I watched a friend play Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, and I immediately asked why there was no voice-acting. I have yet to hear a satisfactory answer.

Players to Get, Players to Drop:

If Casey Blake, Jeremy Accardo, Jon Rauch, or Rafael Soriano are available in your leagues, go get them.

I predict that all four are going to end up amongst the top 150 fantasy players this year, and I've grabbed all four off the waiver wire in the last month.

My two best draft picks this year (from any league): Curtis Granderson, 18th round, Kevin Youkilis, 25th round.

History is Written by the Victors/Pope

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationwo...1,370546.story

One of my favorite portions:

"Pope Benedict XVI ended his first pilgrimage to the Americas much as he began it: with a searing attack on diverse forces, from Marxism and capitalism to birth control, that he believes threaten society and the Roman Catholic faith. And in comment likely to generate controversy in Latin America, the pope said the New World's indigenous population, "silently longing" for Christianity, had welcomed the teachings that "came to make their cultures fruitful, purifying them."

The Pope's grasp of history is not the best.
Also funny:

"As he has done frequently, the pope condemned abortion, gay marriage and "the facile illusions of instant happiness and the deceptive paradise offered by drugs, pleasure and alcohol."

Facile illusions? Is condemning happiness the best way to gain new recruits? I wouldn't be so quick to label other avenues of joy "illusions".

I'd be a bigger fan of the Pope if he reversed the Catholic church's view on birth control, a policy that has led to misery for countless millions across the globe over the last hundred years or so.

Dusty Baker

Joe Morgan was recently quoted as being disgusted with Dusty Baker not being offered a managerial position.

I'm not going to dig up the links, but take my word for it-Dusty Baker has said the following:

"If you can't do anything on the bases, walks don't help you. They just clog things up."

That, my friends, is a man who has no business managing a little league team, let alone sit in an MLB dugout.

As if the above comment isn't enough, his mishandling of Prior and Wood, particularly after they returned from injuries, and his allowing Neifi Perez to take the field....ever.....should keep him safely in the ESPN booth where he can't harm anyone.

ESPN Fantasy Baseball

It takes a special kind of effort to provide as lame of a product as ESPN Fantasy Baseball. My three year Keeper league through ESPN is basically the Pinto of the on-line fantasy baseball services, except without a fiery explosion to give you the sweet relief of death.

Here are a few of the slings and arrows we have been unable to take up arms against:

1)Not providing draft dates until well into March, when it is too late to gather everyone and vote on a time or date change;
2)Wiping out almost all our players' April statistics when the ESPN system crashed. I was supposed to get a refund, but it has been three years, and I don't have the same credit card anymore;
3)Changing the position settings after two years. Essentially half a dozen positions were eliminated.
4)Forcing us to log in every. single. time. you visit. There is no option to save your information. This gets really annoying when you have to manage a rotation with only six active slots. Plus, I'm real glad I had two DHs for one UTIL spot (Hafner and Ortiz) when they got rid of the CI, MI, and one OF, and one UTIL position.
5)Switching to a new system after two years, and making it impossible to edit your keepers before draft time (unless you did it back in January). I was stuck with the same five keepers I had the year before, one of whom I definitely did not want to keep.

All in all, this is the worst web-based product I have ever paid for. Forget the fifty bucks, I want my time back.


**I'm going to give a random shout out to Firejoemorgan.com. Consistently funny and dead-on accurate.

Fantasy Baseball errata

After my horrendous 2006 campaigns, in which I found myself grasping for HR, RBI, and Runs from Shawn Green-esque retreads, this year I decided to focus primarily on hitting first, hitting second, and hitting third.

Didn't take any closers before the ninth round in any of my drafts, didn't take starters before the sixth round (I ended up with Felix Hernandez in all three leagues....which should have been a warning sign). What's happened? I am dominating (generally) in the power categories of hitting, and am dead last in Wins, Whip, and ERA in every league.

Clearly, I've got some work to do. At least I didn't get saddled with BJ Ryan. I did, however, drop Salomon Torres and play Jorge Julio. A lot.

Ugh.

Howdy.

After basically doing nothing with this blog for....years, I think, I've taken the plunge and activated it. I hope to post on a regular, if not a daily basis, from here on out.

What will you be seeing from me? Well, for one thing, I promise that (other than this post) this blog will not be a diatribe on yours truly. I doubt you'd find my personal life, other than perhaps a few anecdotes from my legal career, interesting.

Rather, I'll be covering the big topics here: religion, politics, and relationships come to mind. I'm pretty sure the themes here will become fairly apparent as time goes on. Semi-adult hobbies, will make regular appearances. The goal is to have one polisci/current event article and one sports/"popular media" article posted each week day.

Welcome aboard.