There are Three Kinds of People in this World

Those with guns, those who dig, and those who own Oliver Perez.

If you have owned Oliver Perez since 2004 in a keeper league, and he has been continuously on your roster until the present day (and you can prove it), post about it here and I will send you five bucks. Maybe.

What a roller coaster ride it's been. Perez screwed me in 2005 and 2006 in various leagues, and after a wonderful eight walks in two innings in his second start this year, looked poised to do it once again. Now, he's the ace of the Mets staff and easily the most consistent starter on my team.

What happened, you ask? I think it's quite clear: Oliver stopped stealing JoBu's rum. And, as we all know, it is very, very bad to steal JoBu's rum.