Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Spider-Man 3

Not since Matrix Revolutions have I been so disappointed in a film series' finale.

Just a few of the plot problems I noted:

1)Too. Many. Coincidences. The Meteor strikes right next to Peter? Venom and Flint Marko happen to cross paths in an alley?
2)Crucial plot points should not be revealed by omniscient butlers.
3)Selective amnesia is dumb. Always has been.
4)Could we see more people crying in this movie?
5)Apparently having your soul corrupted by the desire for revenge and power manifests itself with Emo haircuts and song and dance numbers. Good to know.
6)"Spider-Man, I killed the man you considered your father, helped suspend the woman you love fifty stories above cold, hard pavement, menaced the city and injured/killed dozens of people, and have generally been one of the worst human beings of all time. But, I feel bad now. Please forgive me." That is terrible, terrible writing. But, worst of all, Spider-Man sheds a tear and DOES FORGIVE HIM!
7)What the hell happened with the GIANT OUT OF CONTROL CRANE!!! Maybe it's waiting in an alley for Venom to stumble across it and ask to team up.
8)Okay Parker, good job getting the Venom suit off you. Now, you think you might want to find out where the incredibly dangerous alien symbiote has dripped off to? No? Okay. By the way, either Curt Connors has an incredible poker face or the writers forgot to instruct him to act surprised when he discovers an extraterrestrial organism that can alter human emotions.

The deviations from the comic books, which range from harmless to galling, are small potatoes compared to the steaming heap of crap this script asked us to swallow whole.

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