Lance Berkman

I hate you, fat Elvis.

I should have known about the "even numbered" rule in regards to Lance. Much like Star Trek movies (except for Nemesis, which is even worse than Lance's Slugging Percentage), you only want Berkman in even numbered years. His stellar .240ish batting average and six home runs (which is about a third of what undrafted free agent JJ Hardy has) isn't doing much for my team. In fact, he is the lowest ranked hitter on my 25 man roster, behind such luminaries as Shane Victorino, Carlos Pena, and Xavier Nady.

This better turn around quickly.