Oh, those clever Attorneys

Nothing is more devious than an attorney attempting to avoid sanctions. Particularly discovery sanctions.

What are discovery sanctions? A fine question. In every civil litigation each side sends out deposition notices and/or written questions to the other side. Every once in a while, a deponent doesn't show up, or I don't get responses. After sending a courteous letter, I typically toddle off to the Court and ask for a Motion to Compel (one of my favorite phrases) and monetary sanctions by way of punishment.

As soon as this Motions are filed, I often see one of three or four responses. 1)Can you move the Motion back by a week? I have a conflict. If I do this, I immediately receive a Motion to be relieved of counsel or a substitution of attorney, both of which allow the attorney out of the case: meaning he's off the hook for sanctions.

2)I receive half-assed, unsigned, ridiculously incomplete responses. The attorney then expects me to dismiss the Motion. Not likely.

3)A promise to forward them shortly, if I will just take the Motion off calendar. If I do, see number one, above.

Now I have a new wrinkle. In order to avoid discovery sanctions in an arbitration case, I am convinced that the day before the hearing the Defendant's attorney proposed an offer of settlement. We accepted, and the hearing went off calendar (in fact, the arbitration was dismissed, as within the week we had a near 10K arbitration bill due). Now, the attorney has vanished. I will have to start up arbitration again, or go to the Superior Court that used to be handling the action and try to enforce the settlement.

I remember now why I hate attorneys.