Orange County Property Tax Assessor: Get Cancer

The housing market is an apocalyptic catastrophe. So glad I bought a 2200 square foot home in 2005. Yippee. Thank god I didn't pay anywhere near market value at the time, but at this point I'd be surprised if I could get what even I paid for it, an occurence I never thought was possible.

In any event, I figured there was one silver lining: my property taxes would go down. Right?

Now, the O.C. tax assessors are some clever motherfuckers. After purchasing the property, they re-assessed it way, way, way above the purchase price. I contested, and lost ... they said that because it was a transaction that didn't reflect market value, they could re-assess it.

So what happened? My taxes went up! I almost vomited all over the paperwork. You have the gall to increase my property taxes after six figures in equity has been wiped out thanks to moronic subprime lenders? Unbelievable. I immediately begin paperwork to contest the re-assessment. I am assigned a hearing date. Lo and behold, the hearing date is one day before my assessment is due. This means I basically have to pay the assessment and hope to be refunded. I grit my teeth and sign the check using a combination of rotting seaweed, fecal matter, and chimp urine.

Thankfully I won the appeal. But, it's been nearly two months, and I continue to await my refund check. I want interest, goddamnit.